I'm going for the extra credit of "genderfluid but not shaped so I can achieve androgyny or pass as other than my birth gender". (16 inches of tits is too much tits for one person.) So there's a layer of is it worth while letting spouse / family / close friends know if I'm still going to be girl-shaped in sundresses. Like there are internet spaces where I've been out-ish as genderfluid for four years, but those are pseudonym spaces and in theory I could burn twenty plus years of internet community and start over if shit went bad.