🍞Now Baking🍰

New Bakes
Quick Breads: not as sweet as a loaf cake, not dependent on the patient work of yeast, quick breads have always been a great option, and ours are really quick, thanks to special time-altering loaf pans. Come watch us take them from batter to baked in an instant, made fresh to order. But eat them quick, before staleness or mold can get them (approximately five minutes after baking).

Sandwich: Smoked Mushroom (a variety of locally harvested mushrooms, preserved with incense smokes to carry both the taste and spirit of the forest, layered up thick on hearty bread, suitable for wrapping in a cloth and tucking away as one hikes up into the hills in search of adventure)

Experimental Cookie of the Month
January Theme: Birthday

Confetti Explosion: a classic sugar cookie enlivened by an assortment of flavored sprinkles, so each bite is a little different and brings with it a cascade of (eco-friendly, evaporating) confetti, you'll feel like a pinata but without the whole beaten-with-sticks part

One vote token provided with each cookie purchased. Vote for or against this variety in the boxes by the register. Winning varieties will get added to our roster for a year.

Advance Announcement: Fire up your ovens and grease your bundts! Applications will be accepted soon for contestants in the first-ever Lewisian Bake-Off.

☕This Month’s High Tea🐔

Underground Tea
Truffle Pâté with housemade crackers (psychoactive variety available upon request)
Queen's Tarts--assorted mutton, jam, and peppered egg tarts
Caterpillar Cake--a slender, blueberry-infused roll cake that emits a subtle cloud of scented smoke

Tea of the Month
Stone Camellia--made with tea leaves grown in the Buried Gardens, the flavor is sharp, almost flinty, with a bold, subterranean darkness that pairs well with our assorted rock candy stir sticks

Birthdays and More
Reminder to returning visitors that we offer celebration teas and discounts. On your special day, choose one of our deluxe desserts and a top-shelf tea to add to your meal. You will also receive a free cup of treats for the tea house, should you wish to spend some time petting it.

Note that you do not have to provide us with your real birthday. We accept made-up substitute birthdays for privacy, as well as anniversaries, sobriety dates, death days, and any other significant occasion you would like to choose.

📽Stories in the Dark🍿

Popcorn Topping of the Month
Assorted Appetizers: to capture the flavors of a New Year's Eve party, we have spinach-artichoke dip, pigs-in-a-blanket, and strawberry champagne transformed into tasty sprinkles that make every bucket of popcorn a celebration

New Slushy Flavor
Midnight Kiss: not so much a flavor as an experience, this slushy will give you the butterflies and blushing of that perfect kiss just as the year tips over from old to new (available in three strengths--Chaste, Passionate, and Behind Closed Doors)

Promotional Item
Roulette Reels: Theater #3 will be dedicated to randomly selected showings starting January 1st, pulled from our extensive archives going back to the silent era, pick a time and see what fate has in store for you--if not for the coming year, then at least for the next couple of hours

🐟Catch of the Day🦐

Yule Driftwood Log: a savory variation on the classic holiday showpiece, featuring a crisp garlicky bread log stuffed with whipped crab cream, decorated with barnacles, kelp, anemones and other sea life formed from an assortment of mousses, pastries, and sea vegetables

Ice Fishing Special: fun for the whole family, we bring a frozen tureen to your table, along with tools and tiny fishing poles, so you can chip away the edible ice crust and reel out a variety of hidden small bites in the shape of arctic fish

The Iceberg Tart: surrounded by a tender pastry shell and floating in a mixed berry syrup sea, a meringue and whipped cream iceberg towers, but remember: there's always more below the surface than you realize, so make sure to save room and share with the whole table

🍭At the Candy Counter🍫

Winter Releases!

Snow Sprinkles: turn freshly fallen snow into a crunchy, sweet treat with a variety of sugar sprinkles, with colors and flavors that will filter through even large snow banks, can also be used to seed your yard to attract snowfall overnight

Instant Frosting: turn anything from cake and candy to meat and mattresses into an ice cream confection with this fast-freezing topping, not recommended to eat it straight out of the tub unless you enjoy the sensation of frostbite on fingers and tongues

Lollipop Lights: a snack and a safety device for the long, dark nights, these lollipops emit a strong glow when licked that can help you navigate outside while also keeping your spirits bright

Emergency Warming Center
Fendler's Sweet Shop will be one of the warming stations around town, available to anyone caught out in the cold. In addition to a warm seating area and blankets, we will be providing free hot chocolate and cinnamon ember drops to help warm you from the inside out.

🍨November Flavors of the Month🍦

Ice Cream and Sorbet:

Cranberry Bog Sundae--cranberry ice cream topped with an extra pour of dark chocolate bog water and your choice of fixings, wade on in but watch out for the (candy) wolf spiders

Wolf Howl--earl grey ice cream with a tart currant swirl, refreshing after a heavy Wolfenoot meatloaf feast

First Snow--for a limited time only, freshly captured snow drizzled with a selection of tree syrups

Toppings:

Stuffing Crumbles, aka inverted bread pudding a la mode--a mix of sweet cornbread and milk bread, baked with vanilla custard and crumbled into an ultra-rich topping

📽Stories in the Dark🍿

Popcorn Topping of the Month
Cranberry Crunchies: testing out our new Exploded Fruit technology, we've used a combination of freeze drying, air popping, and hyperlocalized wormholes to the vacuum of space to create the puffiest, crunchiest cranberries to create an explosion of flavor

New Slushy Flavor
Warming Spice*: we know it's getting cold out there, but now you can enjoy a refreshing frozen drink without getting a chill, thanks to cinnamon, ginger, and finely ground salamander scales that will warm you from the inside (not recommended for those wishing to also consume chocolate or ice cream over the next three hours)

*Don't call it pumpkin spice, we don't want to get drawn into this battle, please, we have families to think about

Promotional Item
To celebrate A Haunt for the Holidays, the new light romantic drama from the director of Séance and Sensibility, bring your ticket stub to the Ghost Adoption Bureau for half-off adoption fees on all spirits looking for their forever haunted home

🎳This Month on the Lanes⚡

Temporary Outage
The cabinet for Embertomb Run has become haunted and is currently out of service. Those who experienced a loss of immortality/life energy/reincarnation levels due to losing a life in the game are eligible for compensation by Thunder Road and an apology from the mummified cat responsible for the haunting.

Dog of the Month
Ghost Dog: chicken dog topped with flavorful ectoplasm, available in white or green, haunts you with the ghosts of meals gone by (may cause feelings of nostalgia or heartburn)

Midnight Halloween Bowl
The lanes will stay open all night on Halloween for a special tournament. Our usual protective barriers will be removed, allowing all manner of ghosts, spirits, and creatures to come join us for a game.

Eagerly anticipated returning guests are the ghost of 1953 champion bowler Cindy "Big Cid" Davis, The Black Hole entity and its inexplicably heavy bowling ball, and of course the Headless Bowler who bowls using exactly what you would expect.

🍭At the Candy Counter🍫

Halloween Release Preview!

Gummy Bat Wings: can be affixed to small objects (or large ones, if you buy in bulk) to grant limited flying abilities*
*not liable for belongings or people lost during gummy-powered flights

Wax Fangs: always wanted to indulge in the fun of vampirism but unwilling to commit to an eternity of blood drinking and brooding? Our wax fangs are functional (please get the consent of your bite partners), and they contain a chemical concoction that will convert any blood into a tasty, human-safe treat.

Lightning Bolts: for those who are powered or enhanced by exposure to electricity, enjoy a sour lemon lightning bolt that has a trapped electrical current center, great as a snack when you're too far from your lab's power grid or the lightning rod at the top of your ominously crumbling tower

Reminder: We will be open Halloween night for trick-or-treating. No age limits. Costumes required. Nut-free and non-food options available. Tricks, pranks, and scares also available on an unpredictable basis (not from us, just from the creatures living in the stock room).

🍸Cocktails and More🍺

First Storm: a twist on a Dark 'n' Stormy, dark rum, pumpkin beer, passed through with bottled lightning and garnished with a squash blossom

Windfall: mixed cider, concentrated sense of loss, essence of loam, garnished with a dry leaf

Cloud Break: freeze-dried cloud blended with White Rose liqueur, moonshine, and cloudberries, served in a bucket, with multiple straws because you absolutely should not try to get through one by yourself

Open Mic Night
Poetry Squish: like a poetry slam, but much gentler, pillows, blankets, and warm drinks (boozy or not) provided