Mundane Satisfaction
Dec. 30th, 2018 05:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scrubjayspeaksI've just had such a nice day??? And in the most mundane ways possible:
From the moment I woke up, I knew what I wanted to get done today and the order in which I would do it. I had plenty of flexibility, so that sudden plans by my family could involve me without derailing what I was doing; I knew there was time to spare. I got writing done, including on long-term projects that always get shuffled to the bottom of the list because they aren't emergencies.
I read books! I played video games! I spent time with the ducks, the dog, and the cat! Things I genuinely enjoyed, which left me feeling happy and restored. I spent time with Mum that didn't revolve around crisis management. My pain didn't suck any worse than usual, and my fatigue was manageable.
I felt like a real human being who does things in the world. After a week or so of depression issues that involved a lot of anhedonia, actually feeling pleasure in anything was a shock and marvel. It was the most basic of functional adult days, and it was just
so nice.
So nice to feel like life isn't just something unpleasant that happens to me.
From the moment I woke up, I knew what I wanted to get done today and the order in which I would do it. I had plenty of flexibility, so that sudden plans by my family could involve me without derailing what I was doing; I knew there was time to spare. I got writing done, including on long-term projects that always get shuffled to the bottom of the list because they aren't emergencies.
I read books! I played video games! I spent time with the ducks, the dog, and the cat! Things I genuinely enjoyed, which left me feeling happy and restored. I spent time with Mum that didn't revolve around crisis management. My pain didn't suck any worse than usual, and my fatigue was manageable.
I felt like a real human being who does things in the world. After a week or so of depression issues that involved a lot of anhedonia, actually feeling pleasure in anything was a shock and marvel. It was the most basic of functional adult days, and it was just
so nice.
So nice to feel like life isn't just something unpleasant that happens to me.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-01 08:58 pm (UTC)