scrubjayspeaks

A short week at work, which always just means the same amount of work packed into less time. Oh well.

My back has slowly improved, very much in spite of life, the universe, and everything. So obviously, I went out and did an even longer session of weed whacking in even heavier growth out in the orchard. Interestingly, now it’s my arms and chest that are sore (though only in an intense workout way, not an “I have damaged myself” way like my back). It was out of control, and mum was having a hard time walking out there.

Unrelated, but Mum had a fall at the start of the week and seems to have pulled a muscle. She’s sort of taking it easy to let it heal? Sort of? *sigh*

It cooled off a little, occasionally, but I can feel May breathing down my neck. Saw a turkey vulture tidying up a corpse in the road, who was entirely unimpressed by my car and refused to do more than placidly waddle off to the side to make way for me. It was quite cute. Sorry to interrupt your lunch, bud!

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 25.5 hours, between a holiday and a day off for mum’s birthday

Cleaning: fixed the pull cord on the lawn mower

Gardening: garden club post, succulent club meeting, weedwhacked almost the whole orchard

Reading: audiobook of Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas (aaaay, magical tboy romance! super cute and a fun bit of world building)

Listening: The Collector by Witch Bolt (YouTube really wanted me to listen to this, decent dungeon synth if a bit bland next to the more elaborate ambient work done by, say, Tales Under The Oak), The Devil’s Bris (2020 remaster) by Aurelio Voltaire (this is a pure nostalgia purchase, as Voltaire and this particular album were a huge part of the soundtrack of my high school years, though the remix does have some nice audio detail that was missing from my ~~definitely not pirated~~ old copy)

Clock Mouse: 1407 words

Other: celebrated mum’s birthday mostly with repairing stuff at home XD

A very busy week at work that mostly involved people jerking me around. It must be nice to be the sort of person who can’t be fired, despite never actually doing your job in a proper or timely manner.

Somehow I seriously hurt my back between weed whacking and repairs at work. It seems like an excessive response to the work, but I spent the week struggling to manage the pain. That pretty much consumed my brain for all purposes. So naturally, I had to do a lot of heavy lifting and physically awkward tasks that made everything worse.

It’s been sunny and hot all week, because sure, why not?

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written, April posts queued up

Day job: 42.5 hours

Cleaning: replaced the thumb switches on two lamps

Gardening: weeding around some of the shrubs that got overwhelmed, watered out in the wildflower garden for the first time this year

Watching: you know what this calls for? A rewatch of Yu Gi Oh! starting with season 1, of course! *lolsob*

Listening: Give Us The Moon The Night Flight Orchestra (a rec straight from Bandcamp, it is so over-the-top 80s power ballad-inspired, I kept expecting the lyrics to devolve into parody, which is to say, it is unbelievably fun to listen to)

Clock Mouse: 1267 words--ended up pivoting to write a different take on an earlier scene as I start to get a feel for what I’m trying to say, which is certainly an interesting sign in a novel I keep refusing to plan in any way

Other: unloaded hay, an emergency trip to the mechanic for my car

Went to lunch with A, which involved hearing the whole sordid story of her husband’s illness and death. We’re doing that thing where friends in tough times just trade back and forth the same twenty bucks and the same small acts of kindness.

Between the weed whacking last weekend and a particularly demanding day at work, I have absolutely infuriated this one spot in my back. So even though the weather is good at the moment, I can’t do much of anything outside. I just really need to get this under control and not let it spiral. So it’s all rotations of ice packs and heating pads for me. Look at me being smart and kind to myself. I hate it!

Mum and I went to the farmer’s market again, and I got the first decent strawberries of the year, as well as the only decent bagels I’ve ever gotten in this area. We also went to the tea shop, and I got a black tea and an herbal, both fruity types. Now if I could just get some really nice cheeses somewhere, I would have all I can ask for.

I have discovered earthworms in the larger jar terrarium. Wriggling about! I am immediately filled with anxiety over the responsibility to keep them healthy and happy. I added a bit of fresh and old leaves in the top if they want them. Help, everything is a pet!

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 42.5 hours, and one bonus shower no one wanted

Crafting: darned some socks again

Reading: My Man Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse (while I have accepted, via cultural osmosis, that Wodehouse is grand, I’ve never actually read any before--can confirm, is quite grand!)

Listening: The Past is Still Alive by Hurray For The Riff Raff (another fine example of indie country)

Clock Mouse: 1692 words--lots of words this week! Still haven’t named a single character! What am I doing with my life!

Other: unloaded hay

The value of having a real nice lunch to look forward to on a workday cannot be overstated. I’ve had the bad tendency to allow myself only minimal lunches and snacks at work. It’s been an active choice to take time for prepping better and larger food options, and it’s really helped with my mental state.

I kept expecting my reading pace to drop off after February. After all, surely I would read less once I wasn’t on leave, right? But even setting aside the comics, which are fast and easy to get through, I’m progressing through my reading list rapidly (for me). I try to tinker with *when* I do things in my day, which seems to get me better results than just trying to change *what* I do, like attempting to limit scrolling time. I probably still end up cutting scrolling time, but it doesn’t feel like I’m having to exercise a lot of willpower to do it.

Soldering is my new favorite thing. I will be eagerly looking for opportunities to do more of it at work. Equipment, please break in very specific ways, thank you!

Also, I’m officially going to be attending a robot training class later this year. Work travel! I’ll still hate traveling, but at least someone else is paying for me to do it.

After getting quite warm, it suddenly turned cold and slightly rainy. My joints don’t think this is the funniest thing ever, though I’m happy enough to delay the inevitable hot weather for a little longer.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 42.5 hours

Cooking: milk bread two ways--one filled with raspberry-rhubarb jam (tasty enough, but not really worth the extra effort compared to just putting jam on bread), the other peanut butter-chocolate chip (delicious, might tweak it a little more to amp up the peanut butter flavor, a solid first try at recreating a loaf I used to buy years ago)

Gardening: weed whacked along the house pathways and around the perimeter of the dog park

Reading: Strangers in Paradise #6 and #7 (*gnashing teeth* I just want them to be happy for five fucking minutes?!?!), My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson (a relatively light read, given the prominence of the HIV/AIDS crisis, but I enjoyed the narrative voice immensely), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Douglas Adams Live in Concert (it’s just a selections of passages from a few different sections of the series, but getting to hear them read by Adams himself was pretty delightful)

Listening: bro’s bad january Josaleigh Pollett (they did a song-a-day challenge in January, and it’s fun to hear what are essentially WIPs from an artist I like), Bass Amateur Shop by Louie Zong (oh, a particularly good entry in his catalog, several of the songs remind me of older video game tunes, like Sailor Moon: Another Story and Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire)

Clock Mouse: 1353 words

Other: unloaded hay twice (whoo!...wait, why am I excited to be doing this again?)

We received a string of good news this week. The fight mum has been having with the bank holding dad’s much-delayed disability payments (yes, the ones from when he was alive back in summer of last year), which escalated to filing a complaint with the BBB, has allegedly been resolved. I’ll believe it when she gets the check and cashes it, but for now, tentative joy. Also, after initial concerns and a false positive, mum was cleared on some medical test results. And her federal tax refund was recalculated in her favor by a fairly substantial amount.

Given how absolutely shit things have been for the past month (or year, depending on how far back you want to calculate), this was a welcome cluster of goodness and relief.

I taught myself to solder this week. I say it that way because I watched my trainer do it once months ago, but he effectively refused to teach me because he’s not good at it (his description). Which is fine, I guess, though I find it a bit frustrating to be told, well, you just have to try it yourself, when it’s about a 600-degree tool and liquefied metal. But fine. I watched a couple of YouTube videos and then tried. Turns out, I’m quite good at it. It’s not nearly as challenging as using the plasma cutter was. So now I’ll get to build some adapter pigtails from scratch, and I get to do it the tidy, pretty way, all by myself.

The weather has been mostly clear and warm during the day, though the nights are still pretty cold and foggy. It’s the very best of spring, as far as I’m concerned. While in a nearby town, I spotted a woodpecker (not super sure what kind) and a patch of Naples garlic growing by a stream.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 43 hours

Gardening: installed a bug-exclusion screen on mum’s seedling starting cold frame

Reading: Strangers in Paradise #5 (a soap opera like this continues to be exactly what I need), Where the Drowned Girls Go by Seanan McGuire (oh, that did not go where I was expecting, that was delicious)

Listening: Moominvalley (2019) OST (no, I haven’t seen more than clips of the show and am unlikely to, since I can’t source it anywhere, but damn, it’s a really enjoyable set of songs), also been listening to the soundtracks from Katamari Damacy and We <3 Katamari after listening to a podcast episode about it (Watch Out for Fireballs!) and being hit by nostalgia

Aftermarket Parts: no more weight lifting restrictions whoo!

Clock Mouse: 1199 words

After a brief and unexpected illness and hospitalization, my friend A’s husband died. The funeral was Friday. Seeing a traditional funeral and indoor reception drove home that we made the perfect choice for us to have dad’s memorial outdoors and casual. I’m not criticizing how A handled the situation--different folks, different strokes. But with this happening so soon (relatively speaking) after dad’s death, it was impossible not to have the two things get tangled up in my head.

For contrast from last week, at my first succulent club meeting post-surgery, my friends merely expressed happiness at having me back and satisfaction that I was back on my feet. No demands for information, no invasive comments. It was lovely.

The HR person at work fucked up in covering my medical insurance deductions while I was out on leave. Despite having the check I gave them for nearly two weeks, it wasn’t cashed early enough to be correctly applied to that pay period. So then my next pay stub had double deductions (in addition to the check having been cashed). It’s getting sorted out, my insurance is still active, it will be fine. But I was not exactly pleasant and understanding in my emails with HR, because this was an inexcusable dereliction.

More weird weather, with another burst of hail mid-week. Wild swings between 70 degrees and below freezing. Somehow, the fruit trees that are in bloom have *not* lost all their blossoms yet.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 42.75 hours and I’m right back in the thick of our usual nonsense

Gardening: succulent club meeting

Reading: Return of the King audiobook, thus wrapping up the Serkis productions (there was so much that spoke to fragile hope in dark times, I spent much of my listening on the verge of tears)

Listening: MYTH: Side Two and MYTH: appendix by The Narcissist Cookbook (wonderfully creepy and melancholy and weird, this is the sort of eccentric project that just gets me feeling so inspired, like making things is really worth it)

Clock Mouse: 1285 words

Other: got our first duck egg of the season! 🦆

Well, worked two days this week. (I forgot how much I fundamentally hate having to leave home to go to work.) Day one was fine, mostly catching up on an obscene number of emails. Day two involved my first confrontation about where my tits went.

Neat. 눈_눈

Without getting into the details too much, because I might throw up, this person clocked it as a trans thing. No hostility, maybe a little concern troll-y. Insisted it’s nobody else’s business, which would have been more convincing and more reassuring if this hadn’t been in the midst of a “making this my business” conversation. It was, at least, one of about two people at work who I could be semi-confident would not try to hurt me (directly or indirectly) over this.

I’m resentful of this person for putting me in this position, and I feel ashamed that I didn’t push back harder. I was tired and stressed and caught completely off-guard at the time.

More than anything, I just don’t understand why people can’t leave me (and all the rest of us) in peace. What does it matter, what other people are getting up to? Why do you think it’s your god-given right to know literally anything about me?

Obviously, my brain will not stop ruminating on this situation and what else might develop going forward. Every time in life I think, okay, things are basically under control, I’ll be able to catch my breath for a bit, something happens that throws me right back into the shit.

Anyway! Fuck!

So many things are blooming in the garden. The freak hail storm wasn’t, perhaps, the best for them, though. It’s cold but sunny now, so the birds are all out, singing and hunting for things to eat. I do so love this time of year.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written, all March posts queued up

Day job: 17 hours and an incalculable amount of stress

Cooking: cheat lemon pie from B. Dylan Hollis (tasty, doesn’t freeze up as firm as I would have liked, but that certainly didn’t stop me from devouring it)

Crafting: made two little jar terrariums out of moss and sticks

Gardening: weeding, set up the mushroom solar lights, garden club post

Reading: Finn Family Moomintroll by Tove Jansson (I find the writing style so funny, because it has a particular stiltedness I associate with vintage stuff, but it has a sense of humor that often reminds me of very modern online humor and shitposting)

Listening: MYTH: Side One by The Narcissist Cookbook (experimental stuff with spoken word and found audio type bits, mixed in with the sparse weird folk sound I love from this artist, promptly picked up Side Two and the appendix but manfully restrained myself from bingeing them immediately)

Aftermarket Parts: cleared for return to work, more SDI paperwork and got the second/last disability payment

Clock Mouse: 935 words

Wonder of wonders! I took my car in for routine maintenance, and nothing horrible was found! It didn’t cost an outrageous amount of money, and I got to pick it up again the very next day.

I have been playing an outrageous amount of Stardew Valley. I’ve barely interacted with any of the newest content, however, as I slowly plod my way along to a profitable farm.

We had a very nice outing to the local farmer’s market. Truly, the well-being boost from having some fresh berries and mushrooms cannot be overstated.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Cooking: tried making my seed loaf with some dried fruit bits added in, but it ended up just drowning out the seed flavors entirely

Cleaning: helped mum move a section of fencing to give the remaining horses access to the now-unoccupied corrals

Listening: Favorites and Rarities by Don McLean (how have I only known American Pie for so long, when he’s got so much great stuff???), Hobgoblin’s Hat by Allysen Callery (another “searched Moomin on Bandcamp” find, reminds me loosely of Joanna Newsom, which was a nice surprise)

Aftermarket Parts: got the first SDI payment, received more paperwork nonsense

Clock Mouse: 1202 words

This week has been significantly less garbage. Yay? I have played an absurd amount of Stardew Valley, getting to enjoy some of the newer features for the first time. I’m off pain meds, except for the occasional Tylenol (which had been doing a number on my stomach when I was taking it on a schedule). I’m still very tired and somewhat uncomfortable, but I’m gradually figuring out what kinds of movements and positions my body will currently tolerate.

Happily, my updated driver’s license arrived, so I was able to get my application in for disability coverage. And the surgeon’s office continues to underpromise and over-deliver--they quote two to four weeks to complete their portion of it, and yet had it submitted to EDD in less than twenty-four hours.

I started cleaning corrals again in the evening. If I only pick up a small amount at a time, I’m technically under my weight restrictions. If I only go slowly, I’m technically not getting my heart rate up. Therefore, this is technically not exhausting, right?

Lewisia: five new pieces written, which covers the Monday posts for March, and I already had enough general posts saved up for the month, so I feel much better about life now

Cooking: these sourdough brownies (they genuinely do taste like they have cream cheese in them, very tasty), a very sad rendition of my usual Japanese fried chicken recipe, this Food Wishes recipe for harira soup (tasty and a nice change from the household’s usual flavor profiles)

Reading: Strangers in Paradise volume #4 by Terry Moore, relistening to Martha Wells’s Murderbot series #3 through #6 (which means I’m finally ready to listen to #7 for the first time wheeeee!)

Listening: Moomin Voices by Tove Jansson (so, whoops, I accidentally acquired the Finnish translation, not the Swedish version *facepalm*, but that just means I’ll listen to the Swedish one at some point in the future, I love the fusion of traditional folk and choir sounds with reversed segments and glitchy bits, wonderfully weird), "The Slur Song" by Bigfoot’s Biggest Fan (via this tumblr post, excuse me while I cackle endlessly, hilarious and rude and queer as fuck)

Aftermarket Parts: drains out, filing for temporary disability coverage

Clock Mouse: 1126 words

I’m playing a bit of catch-up on this, as I didn’t have the energy last Sunday to post.

Friends, I am having A Time. In addition to one horse dying the night before I left for surgery, our other oldest horse just died the day after I got home again. Because why not?

There’s a reason a small, superstitious part of me believes all good things must be paid for in blood--the universe really likes to pull this sort of shit on me. If I was going to have any sort of complex emotional response to finally getting top surgery, it has been entirely swamped and swept away by having to have emotions about this shit instead.

I replaced my cracked iPad. (Did I tell y’all about that? Well, in any case, it does what it says on the tin--my iPad cracked horrifically, replacing it was a situation.) The ebook reader app I had been using no longer exists, so that went poof. Fortunately, I had separately backed up the files out of suitable paranoia. The new one I’m switching to does not make me happy, but what does? I’ve at least finally got all the other apps reinstalled, so it no longer feels like I’m missing half my brain.

One of the failures of said brain recently has been: I did not renew my driver’s license when I should have (ie months in advance to offset bureaucratic delays), so now I’m stuck with a temporary while waiting for the new physical one to arrive.

You know who doesn’t consider an expired DL as valid ID? The identity verification site used by the short-term disability service. Oh, they specifically say you can choose an expired DL and a temporary as a document type in their FAQ, but that isn’t actually an option I can select. So. I can’t submit anything for income replacement until I get the new one. Neat.

The windows of waiting versus the windows of filing are technically such that I should be okay. I love the feeling of being okay on a technicality. Fun.

It is difficult to remember that I have only been home for three full days, because they have been wall-to-wall bullshit. I just want to rest???

Day job: 8.5 hours--a lone Monday for strategic leave-taking reasons

Reading: Strangers in Paradise volumes #2 and #3 by Terry Moore (god, it’s like popcorn, just devouring it by the fistful), The Light Eaters by Zoë Schlanger (maybe because I was listening to this while in the hotel room pre- and post-surgery, but I just couldn’t get into it the way I have the last few nature books), relistening to Martha Wells’s Murderbot series #1 and #2 so far (a forever favorite)

Listening: Water Still Flows by Rich Ruth (via KEXP, complex jazz sounds with just enough of a lofi beats vibe to make it chill), Dolmenwood: Journeys Through Wold and Bog by Tales Under The Oak (even more immersive soundscapes than their previous albums, very good)

Aftermarket Parts: TOP SURGERY! Which I will definitely write about eventually. Maybe once I have these blasted drains out and don’t feel so uncomfortable and on-edge.

Clock Mouse: 1089 words last week, 1084 words this week

There’s some real cognitive dissonance in writing this up while simultaneously doomscrolling Bluesky for political updates and watching a Game Grumps compilation to keep my brain from evacuating from my skull.

At some point, I’m going to post more about the process of top surgery. But I think it’s going to have to wait until after it’s done. Because every time I think about the details, I have a panic attack. This is, in fact, the worst my anxiety has been since 2013, the Year That Nearly Killed Me.

Meanwhile, the screen on my iPad spontaneously shattered. It has been dropped in its lifetime, but it wasn’t recent. So I’m not sure why it chose Friday evening to spiderweb. It can’t be fixed, so I get to replace it. The local shop doesn’t have it in stock. Because of course. So unless they manage to receive it on Monday such that I can get it after work, I will be heading into my surgical travels with a broken, albeit currently functional, tablet.

Sure. Why not.

It is difficult to overstate the degree to which I feel both personally and collectively cursed.

One of the thrashers at work was perched on a light pole, which is not behavior I usually see from a mostly ground-dwelling bird, and was singing vigorously. For my birthday, mum made my favorite spiced pork roast, twice-baked potatoes, and a cake filled with raspberry whipped cream. ~🍰~

Lewisia: no new pieces written but the holiday message went up--break time!

Day job: 34.75 hours, with a day off for my birthday

Reading: Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher (oof, lovely and upsetting and I love the world building and I love the two leads), Strangers in Paradise volume #1 by Terry Moore (got a Terry Moore bundle from Humble Bundle and might actually finish reading a series I started in high school)

Aftermarket Parts: got all results for surgical clearance, did pre-arrival call with the hospital

Clock Mouse: 1229 words

Got the surgical clearance appointment done, but I’m still waiting on the blood work results. Got the EKG at least, which I had to look up the terminology for. Basically fine, apparently, but not so you could tell by reading several phrases that sound absolutely dire without explanation.

This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life. Every day, I wait to hear that some political decision has been made that will make my surgery illegal. I understand that actual laws, as opposed to just executive orders, take time. I understand that challenges can get laws blocked pending review.

But I also recognize that lots of companies and organizations are preemptively complying and/or using the new administration as an excuse to drop policies they never really cared about anyway. So you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t trust that the normal mechanisms will protect me even temporarily. I don’t even trust that having private insurance, ie money, will protect me.

Because they’re entirely mask-off at this point--it was never just about children, it was never just about tax dollars, it was never just about freedom of speech. Which we knew--anyone who wasn’t a hopeless fool or a disingenuous ass knew that none of those supposed limits would hold. But still.

Sorry. That’s not really “done this week” except insofar as what I did this week was panic.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 36 hours, with one day off but also some time on Saturday to restart after a planned power outage

Gardening: more weeding

Reading: re-listened to beloved The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente while driving, listened to Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein (my old guy coworker references the classics, and I figured it was time to try this out, liked it more than I expected for something so very much Of Its Time in many ways)

Listening: RATKING by Brimheim (another KEXP recommendation)

Aftermarket Parts: reserved a rental car for traveling, printed backup maps, surgical clearance appointment and corresponding bloodwork

Clock Mouse: 1344 words, and maybe I’ll spend my recovery week doing some planning...

Am I overwhelmed? Maaaaaybe! There’s a lot happening all at once still. My dreams have become exceedingly strange, which suggests my unconscious brain is doing its best to process all this without exploding.

The weather has been well below freezing overnight. Had some minor issues with the water system, but nothing vital broke. Threw blankets over sensitive equipment.

Got to watch a couple of bluejays messing about while at the educational garden.

Lewisia: no new pieces written, decided to take the week off as I’ve got the February downtime ahead and thus can afford some breathing room

Day job: 42.5 hours

Gardening: succulent club meeting, more weeding, attended lecture on pruning fruit trees, bought some new plants

Listening: Factories in Heaven by The Scoffs (a KEXP recommendation, classic punk sound, very enjoyable)

Aftermarket Parts: another call with the surgeon confirming planned procedures

Clock Mouse: 1602 words, and no, seriously, at some point I need a plan for this...

*tea kettle noises* Okay, lots of progress this week. Things are actually moving forward as they should. Which does mean I feel a bit like I’m on a roller coaster that just hit the top of the first big peak and the speed is about to take hold of me. Up to this point, I’ve been waiting for everyone else to catch up to me. Now I’m going, oh shit, oh shit, gotta start packing?!

Saw that killdeer I had been hearing.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 34.25 hours, and having despaired last Sunday about having to work a full week, I forgot I was taking Wednesday off

Gardening: my old foe returns--WEEDING!, garden club post

Reading: The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery (had been meaning to read this for a long time, more narrative than the other nature books I’ve been reading, still very interesting but sometimes exceedingly sad), The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher (hi, hello, I have the shrieking horrors now, thank you for that, the ending twist was better than I had hoped)

Listening: did a combo pack of shorter things--BYTE BALLADS by Louie Zong (vocal synth stuff, sold me with the phrase “you’ve got to save yourself”), “Blinkmoth (July Mix)” by james K (a KEXP pick), and Moomination by Paszczak (experimental electronic stuff, yes, I did search Bandcamp for anything that mentioned Moomin and grabbed whatever seemed cool)

Aftermarket Parts: fielded more calls, submitted many documents, got provisional approval of my leave time (true approval doesn’t happen until it actually starts), paid my hospital fees *moth flies from wallet*

Clock Mouse: 1244 words, and at some point, I’m going to HAVE to name these people…

Other: unloaded hay twice

Well, it’s a new year, and it already feels unforgivably stupid.

I did set some goals, but… Going through last year’s goals, it was very clear the way in which my life fell to pieces in March and never really got back on the rails. Best laid schemes, and all that. So I find myself a bit gun-shy over making any grand new plans. Top surgery, which in theory should only occupy my January and February, feels like a sufficiently robust and/or daunting goal to carry the remainder of the year. Planning anything else feels like asking for trouble.

I heard the first meadowlark of the year. It seems very early for that. I wonder if that means it’s going to be a mild winter. I also saw a red fox running through my field, pausing occasionally to pounce on the various rodents living out there.

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written, and all January posts queued up, which will carry me through the end of Lewisia Year 7 (?!?!)

Day job: 25.5 hours--I have lost track of what day it is entirely at this point, and the prospect of working a full week of five days fills me with despair

Cooking: finally got to make my seed loaf again, though I overcooked it thanks to having a fully functional oven; chocolate chip ginger spice cookies; pizza for New Year’s Eve

Gardening: planted the white peach tree we received at dad’s memorial

Reading: volume 1 of the Moomin comic strips <3

Listening: Run With The Hunted by Skyhill (their first album, which doesn’t have the polish of Out in the Moonlight but still delivers exactly the vibes I liked them for)

Aftermarket Parts: submitted the request for a leave of absence through the portal thing that my employer uses (now waiting for approval), worked on a list of things to pack for surgery week

Clock Mouse: 1319 words

Well, the surgeon’s office called me on Monday while I was at work and wanted to do the clearance call right then. Fuckers. They want way more testing done than I anticipated (based on what information they had given me). So then I was stuck trying to schedule an appointment with my PCP during Christmas week to see him before January 23, because the surgeon wants the results by two weeks before surgery. If they had just told me that I would need an appointment with him and what time window to get it done in, I would have scheduled it months ago.

You would think a medical professional with an eight-month lead time would understand that scheduling appointments requires some advance notice.

On the plus side, mum has gotten through the holidays better than I expected. Not that she isn’t sad, but just that she hasn’t been despondent. I think getting the new oven helped. She had a mad rush of baking to do, which kept her nicely occupied.

Speaking of baking, I gave her the bread book King Arthur just released this year. She’s having a grand time reading through it--it’s as much an educational resource as it is a book of recipes. We’re going to have fun trying out new techniques and new ingredients.

I’ve decided to go all-in on making Moomin my new fandom. I’m reading whatever books I can get hold of, watching the 90s cartoon, checking out fan art, and soon I’ll dive into fic as well. Oh, and things like cooking Scandinavian food and learning Swedish. As one does when properly on their bullshit. It’s very nice to have something to be blissfully enthusiastic about.

Heard some killdeer about, though I didn’t see them.

Lewisia: 4 new pieces written, and I’m finally caught up

Day job: 25.75 hours--what a weird schedule...

Cooking: tried making onion soup mix bread (via B. Dylan Hollis)--very tasty, but the salt content does a number on me

Reading: audiobook of The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben (not quite as lyrical as Entangled Life but with much the same feeling of deep love and fascination for the natural world)

Watching: Christmas movie bonanza--original Grinch, A Charlie Brown Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, A Muppet Christmas Carol, and Home Alone

Listening: A Charlie Brown Christmas by the Vince Guaraldi Trio (had a couple of tracks already but finally picked up the full album, a classic)

Playing: finished the Snufkin game main storyline, though I did just pick up the Fuddler’s Courtship DLC as well

Aftermarket Parts: got the medical clearance call done, set up a pre-surgical clearance appointment with my PCP, contacted the rheumatologist for clearance on my lupus meds

Clock Mouse: 1120 words

There was a planned power outage on Wednesday. Since then my internet has been a mess. Almost anything causes my home internet to crap out. It came back for a while on Friday, and I thought, oh good, I don’t have to call and go through customer service hell. It was basically fine yesterday. And now today, it is dead again. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I’ve got workarounds that work with my tablet, but nothing that will get internet to my desktop computer. I’ve got too much shit going on right now to worry about it, though. I’m not going to call and deal with them days before a major national holiday. What I need to do is get a wireless adapter for my desktop so it can work with a hotspot. Whether I buy one or continue to use the ones made available through my local library remains to be seen. But I’m so sick of paying for goods and services that don’t work.

Speaking of which! I have bought a new oven. Because the warranty company did not, in fact, get their contractors under control and get the old one fixed. I am furious about that, but also relieved to finally have an oven again.

And in a final fuck-you from this week, I was scheduled to have a medical clearance call on Friday. As far as I know, this is to give me instructions on lab work to get done ahead of surgery. I sure hope that’s all I need to do, because time is a-tickin’. But I sure as shit don’t know yet, because I got stood up! They never called. I tried sending messages to find out if they were just running late--when it was thirty minutes past time--and then had to just say, cool, your business hours are over now, so I guess we’re rescheduling.

Ills and disservices! That’s all I’m getting these days! Fuck!

Lewisia: 4 new pieces written, and I guess I’m just going to pick away at the backlog each week

Day job: 43 hours

Reading: finished the Two Towers production, now I have to wait for Return of the King to be available

Listening: Wonders by S. J. Tucker (inspired by Catherynne M. Valente’s The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, utterly delightful, need to go reread the book in celebration)

Aftermarket Parts: got stood up for medical clearance call, got updated letter of support for surgery (since it will over a year since I got it by the time of my surgical date)

Clock Mouse: 1577 words

Other: unloaded hay twice

It’s gotten really, properly cold here. I keep forgetting we haven’t even gotten to Yule yet--it is still technically autumn.

My favorite club member was back at the meeting after a medical situation, and my favorite coworker is back at work after one as well. Which is really nice, because I think if I lose anyone else in the near future, I’m just going to crawl into a cave and leave humanity.

I bought myself a mechanical keyboard, albeit a budget model, thinking that I could change the physical layout around. I type using Dvorak, and I was sick of using stickers for the keycaps, which wear out and go goopy on me. Alas, they have two keys that are keyed to fit a different way. I’m sure this is supposed to provide some value should you take all the keys off and not know how to reassemble them. Or something. Personally, I think it’s completely asinine. In any case, it means I cannot, in fact, lay the keycaps out differently.

It’s still nice to have a keyboard that doesn’t have any jammed keys. Also, this one lights up in all sorts of customizable patterns. Pulsing rainbow keyboard!

Lewisia: 4 new pieces written, so I’m still behind by two

Day job: 29.5 hours, with a couple planned absences and getting to leave early for a paid team lunch

Crafting: painted another batch of plastic baubles to put on the pine trees for Festive Whimsy

Gardening: succulent club meeting and holiday party

Listening: Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) by David Bowie (what a peculiar album [affectionate])

Playing: picked up Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley on Steam--I’m a novice Moomin fan and the new game looked charming, is thus far super cute and chill, it’s been a long time since I played a game with a definite path/storyline, rather than something open-ended like Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley

Clock Mouse: 1194 words

Other: took care of the creatures while mum went out of town, dentist appointment (amazingly haven’t cracked any teeth from clenching my jaw even during waking hours...)

Nnnnrrrggg... I did not enjoy this week. Nothing happened exactly. It just remained persistently unpleasant.

The warranty company has failed to do anything about the fact that the repair contractor keeps canceling our appointments. We requested repair on the oven November 6th, and now we still haven’t even gotten them to decide what needs to be fixed. They’ve canceled the appointment twice and tried to do it a third time. I’m planning to file complaints with the BBB. This should qualify as breach of contract, considering I’m paying a distressing amount of money each year for them to provide this service. I am, in any case, going to be as much of a thorn in their sides as I can.

So meanwhile, we’ve made arrangements to buy a new oven entirely. It would have been nice to know sooner that they wouldn’t bother to fix it in a timely manner, so we could take advantage of Black Friday sales. I’m going to be out the cost of the new oven with probably nothing kicked in by the warranty because of this, but at this point, I just need a functional oven.

It’s been 18 months on T as of today. I had been planning to write something up, but, well: life. Part of me wonders if I will get to the two-year mark in June before I lose access to hormones due to the incoming administration. The decision on Skrmetti is expected in June--it is not lost on me that Pride Month may see devastating blows to trans rights. I keep telling myself that I need to get off the internet for a while for my mental health. When the news involves regular attacks on your legal status as a person, though, it’s hard to disengage.

I’ve seen a half dozen Western bluebirds hanging around. Very pretty.

Lewisia: didn’t get any new pieces written, but did queue up all of December

Day job: 41.25 hours

Gardening: garden club post

Reading: finished the Andy Serkis audiobook of The Hobbit while waiting for Two Towers to be available from the library

Listening: Revelations by Sarah Shook and the Disarmers (some of their earlier work was campy verging on parody, which is fun in its own right; this is not quite as over the top, though you still get the irreverent fun of songs like “Motherfucker”)

Clock Mouse: 1159 words

Other: unloaded hay twice, follow-up at the gender doc

Short week, short week~! If nothing else, this week has been good for catching up on some sleep. (It has, admittedly, not been good for much else.)

I keep thinking, ah, this will be the weekend when I can catch up on things. This is when I can reach out to a friend after many months. This is when I will do literally any single task that isn’t marked AAA+ TOP PRIORITY OR DEATH!!1! on my to-do list.

And behold! It is never that weekend.

This fact manages to suck all the joy and satisfaction out of every single other task I complete. Because I’m not any farther ahead. I continue just to tread water.

There’s a villain monologue from something--movie or TV, it’s definitely voiced--wherein the villain is basically going, oh, which poor, defenseless ally are you going to abandon to save the other? Pretty sure there’s a literal cliff one of them will fall off. This is not an uncommon trope, I realize, but I’m definitely thinking of a specific example, if only I could recall which one.

Anyway! That’s how I feel about my to-do list right now! It’s not that the balls I’m dropping aren’t important--they’re just doomed to die because there’s only one of me. Whee!

Lewisia: 3 new pieces written

Day job: 24.5 hours, holiday and getting to leave early (paid!)

Cooking: Thanksgiving dinner via borrowed electric roaster, Instant Pot, toaster oven, and stove top--VICTORY!

Cleaning: scrubbed out the shower and tub, fixed the leaky hot water handle on the bathroom sink, made a dent in removing the calcium buildup from that

Clock Mouse: 852 words

Other: unloaded hay, visited the apple orchard

On A Trail of Breadcrumbs

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Done This Week

Profile

Support!

Links

April 2025

Syndicate

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Active Entries

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags