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Today's Keyboard Smash
Aug. 26th, 2020 04:48 pm(Firstly: eyyyyy, power outage at work! Not that it got me out of there any meaningful amount of time early. It was already the end of the day. Still. Can't wait to see if the place is actually open tomorrow.)
For a few different reasons, I'm thinking about the idea of looking forward to things. It came up on a podcast episode, and in a tumblr post, and I guess it's just been much in the air for me lately.
Part of it is that I have such a reliable work schedule now, I can make plans for things to do on the weekend and not have to worry that they'll get shot to hell. Part of it is also that I've been on medication for a year and change now, which has improved my energy levels and ability to do things that aren't just absolute necessities.
I mean, the world is on fire, and sometimes that makes it hard to make plans both in practical and mental terms. So it's not all sunshine and roses. But yeah. Doing more things.
What I've realized, though, beyond just that I can do things, is that having little things to look forward to helps me cope. I plan out things in my head when I'm stuck somewhere. Smiling happily to myself while everyone around me is quietly miserable, because I'm thinking about painting the plant rack this weekend while making product. It's escapism, really, but it's also specifically escaping to something I can make happen. Not pie in the sky fantasies, but actual good things I can give myself at a specific point in the not too distant future.
This week, I've been looking forward to autumn when I can take cuttings from my geraniums and plant them out in the flower garden to see if they grow well there. Today, I'm looking forward to the fresh shiitake mushrooms waiting at home, which I'm going to put with a pack of a new type of ramen I want to try. Little things. Bigger things. Food. Projects. Plans. Things that aren't whatever I'm doing at the moment at work. (Running a fairly boring job while stuck with an unneeded partner whose company I don't much care for, that's what.)
I'm not counting things like possibly getting a beehive, because that's not really a plan at the moment. I mean, I like thinking about that too. The beehive thing will become something to look forward to when, say, I make plans to buy the equipment or assemble the hive. But the idea here is specifically about things I can make happen in the foreseeable future.
Possibly this all sounds really ridiculously obvious to some. Probably those are people without any particular mental health issues. People who are capable of getting adequate doses of serotonin through normal human stuff. For me, though, it's always something of a revelation: the things I think and do can make a difference in how I feel, independent of at least some parts of my circumstances. It's easier to notice that fact, though, when circumstances are marginally less like an active nuclear meltdown. That definitely helps too.
For a few different reasons, I'm thinking about the idea of looking forward to things. It came up on a podcast episode, and in a tumblr post, and I guess it's just been much in the air for me lately.
Part of it is that I have such a reliable work schedule now, I can make plans for things to do on the weekend and not have to worry that they'll get shot to hell. Part of it is also that I've been on medication for a year and change now, which has improved my energy levels and ability to do things that aren't just absolute necessities.
I mean, the world is on fire, and sometimes that makes it hard to make plans both in practical and mental terms. So it's not all sunshine and roses. But yeah. Doing more things.
What I've realized, though, beyond just that I can do things, is that having little things to look forward to helps me cope. I plan out things in my head when I'm stuck somewhere. Smiling happily to myself while everyone around me is quietly miserable, because I'm thinking about painting the plant rack this weekend while making product. It's escapism, really, but it's also specifically escaping to something I can make happen. Not pie in the sky fantasies, but actual good things I can give myself at a specific point in the not too distant future.
This week, I've been looking forward to autumn when I can take cuttings from my geraniums and plant them out in the flower garden to see if they grow well there. Today, I'm looking forward to the fresh shiitake mushrooms waiting at home, which I'm going to put with a pack of a new type of ramen I want to try. Little things. Bigger things. Food. Projects. Plans. Things that aren't whatever I'm doing at the moment at work. (Running a fairly boring job while stuck with an unneeded partner whose company I don't much care for, that's what.)
I'm not counting things like possibly getting a beehive, because that's not really a plan at the moment. I mean, I like thinking about that too. The beehive thing will become something to look forward to when, say, I make plans to buy the equipment or assemble the hive. But the idea here is specifically about things I can make happen in the foreseeable future.
Possibly this all sounds really ridiculously obvious to some. Probably those are people without any particular mental health issues. People who are capable of getting adequate doses of serotonin through normal human stuff. For me, though, it's always something of a revelation: the things I think and do can make a difference in how I feel, independent of at least some parts of my circumstances. It's easier to notice that fact, though, when circumstances are marginally less like an active nuclear meltdown. That definitely helps too.
