scrubjayspeaks: photo of a toddler holding an orange tabby cat (baby Joyce)
[personal profile] scrubjayspeaks
It's a strange time to contemplate projects. I got the notification that signups are open for this year's [community profile] pod_together event. I only sign up as a podficcer, not a writer, because I know I can get that done even if life is crazy. It's just enough pressure with no real chance of failure, barring my sudden and tragic murder by lizard assassins. Even so, I'm wringing my hands at the idea of signing up again this year.

Life is just so strange right now. This is a commitment where my creative efforts wouldn't be needed until mid-July, which is, frankly, an imaginary time period believed in only by children and the terminally eccentric. I could just as easily--and accurately--agree to participate in the 2037 mission to Mars. "Sure, yeah, I'll do it," I say, as though the mortal mind can even conceive of what that might require and when.

I also don't know if collaboration is the right choice for me right now. Do I want to have a negotiation with someone? Can I emotionally handle relinquishing control of the story so the writer can do their part? Do I want to add another communication partner to my weekend docket?

I'm also considering another serial project to post on here. It's something that's both fiction and blogging, and it would update weekly. I've been thinking about it for a while, more so since the Shabby Recaps ended, but there wasn't any particular start date built into the idea. I could start it any time I like, provided I had the time and mental resources to keep up with it. It would potentially get me writing fiction again with more regularity. (My limited fiction creation right now makes me feel like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. I just can't seem to improve the situation.)

Do I have the capacity to do something like that right now? It's not a question of generally being up for it--it's very much my jam. Is now the time? Is now the time for anything, really? Is it better to just keep coasting with a bare minimum of functionality?

I suppose this is how my personal quarantine fatigue manifests. I'm tired of doing as little as possible, keeping as much mental and physical resources in the tank to hedge against further catastrophe. I want to do...something. I remember doing things. Pretty sure, anyway.
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