scrubjayspeaks

Presented in partnership with the Lewisia Communications Board and Lewisia Public Library

Sponsored by The Historical Society

Hello, readers, listeners, and psychic osmosizers! Welcome to A Lewisian Year, a monthly showcase celebrating the rich culture here in the Lake Lewisia district. Each month, we'll highlight some seasonal events, local celebrations and interpretations of national and world holidays, and historical tidbits.

DECEMBER

Yule

You've just brought home your Yule Log, purchased from Greenwood Apothecary or, if you were feeling particularly fancy this year, directly from one of the itinerant wood gatherers who can sometimes be found on the edges of the forest. The log is one to two feet long, something that looks and smells mostly like pine, with deeply grooved bark and fragrant, sticky resin seeping out from the cut ends. There is nothing to immediately identify it as a Yule Log, rather than just a length of firewood, apart from a few flecks of something white you think you can make out deep between the gnarled scales of bark.

This piece of wood is destined for something much more exciting than just another fire by which to warm yourself, though. You set it out somewhere warm, away from drafts, and for several days or weeks, you wait. It's just a log, sitting in your house, doing nothing in particular.

And then, overnight, it begins to change. You wake up one morning to find it studded with the fruiting bodies of a mushroom you will never see anywhere else. Small, grey and white, innocuous and pleasant in the way of most fungi, these mushrooms rise on slender stalks all over the log. They emit a glow like moonlight at night, and like another celestial phenomenon, you can wish on them. Just pick a mushroom, make a wish, and swallow it whole.

While I cannot guarantee the effectiveness of the wishing, I can confirm this is an entirely real mushroom and the tradition is as much for its benefit as for ours. It is believed that people first found this particular mushroom while digging up animal burrows in winter in search of food. Lengths of wood, brought into the burrows by the animals living there, had been kept warm in the depth of winter, allowing the mushrooms to sprout. Since they were one of the only things growing at that time of year and good to eat, they became a symbol of the luck needed to survive the winter. Thus was a tradition born.

(This is no relation to the Yule Log traditions imported from Scandinavian countries, nor to the meringue mushroom-decorated cake versions of the same. As it turns out, cultures are living organisms and convergent evolution works just as well in them as it does in plants and animals.)

Holiday Sales

The shopping season is in full swing now, ahead of the major winter holidays. It's always a good idea, after all, to offer gifts to people when you're going to be cooped up with them for several cold, dangerous months. Just a little insurance against murder, blood feuds, and prank wars. And Lewisia is not entirely immune to the thrill of a good sale. So we have some tips for you to make the most out of the shopping experience here in town.

Everyone is willing to bargain and barter--they just don't know it yet. Just because you are in a traditional retail location doesn't mean you can't try to negotiate a better price. And remember: the company might own the goods, but the staff are the ones who actually let you walk out of there with your purchase. Feel free to deal with the cashier directly--you may both come out ahead that way.

Cash may be king, but never underestimate the versatility of a blood sacrifice at the register. Most places have at least one manager on hand who knows how to convert between the local currency and other forms of payment, like pirate treasure, leaves under an enchantment to look like money, and gold spun from straw. People are more likely to think of blood magic and first-born children for large purchases, but a lock of hair or a first kiss can buy plenty of smaller holiday cheer as well.

Make a list to be sure you don't forget anything or anyone. There's nothing worse than getting home from a shopping trip, only to realize you forgot to get anything for the swamp witch who protects your soul egg or the coworker who always saves the last breakroom donut for you when you take a late lunch. A list will also come in handy in the event that you get sucked into a portal, dreamscape, or fae realm while shopping and forget who you are. The reminder that your partner needs a new cauldron might be what jogs your memory and allows you to escape.

Allow serendipity to play its part, but check your budget first. You came in with a list, but then you saw the perfect gift you never thought to buy, right there on the shelf. A kindly deity is looking out for you or your friend. Or a favor owed by an eldritch entity is being repaid in the home goods aisle. Or you've just had a premonition of the war to come and your sister always wanted to take up knife throwing anyway. Whatever it is, it's perfect. By all means, revise your plan. Before you do, though, make sure this new idea is roughly comparable to what you originally budgeted for. You don't want to be left at the register, impulsively selling your backup soul just to make ends meet.

Check the signs before you try those "free" samples laid out for the first shoppers of the day/night/unmeasurable twilight time. There are always those eager to take advantage of the distracted, the rushed, and the naive. So make sure that any samples, testers, goody bags, and other supposed gifts are clearly labeled as such. Most (though not all) of the creatures likely to pull such a trick are also unable to directly lie, so be wary of anything with missing or vague signage if you want to make it home with all your purchases sometime in the next year and a day.

We wish you safe and bountiful shopping this month!

Ice Skating on the Lake

One of the simple pleasures of winter is ice skating, particularly if you can skate outside. What it lacks in perfect smoothness, it more than makes up for in pure atmosphere. Lake Lewisia is a lovely place to skate. Sometimes, the lake even freezes.

If you are new to skating on liquid, or even just new to skating in general, start slowly. Consider wearing some protective gear, and definitely dress warm. Avoid looking down--seeing fish swimming below your feet can be unsettling at first, and the break in your concentration might allow you to fall through the water instead of gliding across it. (But if you do look down and spot the lake monster, be sure to wave hello.) Take frequent breaks for warm drinks and rest to avoid muscle fatigue and chilled fingertips. And finally, stick to the shoreline and populated areas. Leave the center of the lake to experienced skaters who know how to navigate ice currents and the particular hazards out by the recursive island zone.

This Month in History

Composer Madeline Hershel's Ululara No. 3 "Pine Forest" was first performed for an audience on December 16th, 1834. The performance took place at the Ascendant Concert Hall, which once stood at the corner of Lilac and Penknife, prior to its unexplained disappearance from this physical plane. For the wolf pack portion of the ululara's performance, Hershel brought in a group of five wolves from what would eventually be known as the A52 pack by modern researchers and preservationists.

Given the ululara's subject--the birth and eventual rise to leadership of a young wolf in the eponymous pine forest--the three generations of wolves howling together made for a poignant performance. The composition and its performances would go on to more lasting fame as it became the anthem for protests against the rise in mass slaughter of wolves in North America during that time.

That's a taste of what December has to offer us. See you next month, when January brings a new year and, perhaps, regrettably, a new you.