Done This Week
Mar. 3rd, 2024 08:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scrubjayspeaksWell, I didn’t enjoy that much at all! Cool!
Had a very up-and-down week at work, that involved a lot of reminders/implications that I am in a dead-end position, and the company has no intention of making a path forward available to me if I’m not going to take a management position. Also, relatedly, the reminder that no one will think of me as a candidate for certain positions because they don’t think of me as a man.
Thanks in part of all that, dysphoria has been kicking my ass the last few days.
And for the killing blow, my coworker-turned-DM-turned-very good friend announced she’s moving next month. So I won’t get to work with her, nor will we have our little weekend adventures. Not sure what will happen to the D&D group either.
On tumblr, there’s an emergent piece of advice across multiple posts: do it scared, do it alone. You can’t wait for other people to want to do cool things with you or to hold your hand when you’re intimidated. You’ve got to do it scared. You’ve got to do it alone.
AKA another manifestation of my personal motto: save yourself.
I guess I should be grateful for the time we had, which encouraged me to consider the joys of small adventures and actually going out and doing things. Now I have to make the choice to keep doing that on my own.
I am not, for reference, currently feeling very grateful. Just to be clear.
Lewisia: 3 new pieces written
Day job: 43.25 hours, and several things went off the rails
Crafting: patched my work pants yet again, picked up some yarn and a new hook for a crochet project
Gardening: harvested the second crops of mushrooms, weeding in the castle garden
Reading: In an Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire (god, even knowing how it has to end because it’s a prequel, this was heartrending)
Listening: Yasmin by Malaika Mfalme (another transmasc artist, really lovely stuff, charmed by the references to old songs in “Younger”)
Playing: “Chill Out,” a journaling game about a road trip, I only got through the first two hours of the eight hours comprising a game, so I’ll keep playing it for the next little while
Aftermarket Parts: finished listening to the last module of the voice class, still need to go through the actual activities
Other: beach trip
Had a very up-and-down week at work, that involved a lot of reminders/implications that I am in a dead-end position, and the company has no intention of making a path forward available to me if I’m not going to take a management position. Also, relatedly, the reminder that no one will think of me as a candidate for certain positions because they don’t think of me as a man.
Thanks in part of all that, dysphoria has been kicking my ass the last few days.
And for the killing blow, my coworker-turned-DM-turned-very good friend announced she’s moving next month. So I won’t get to work with her, nor will we have our little weekend adventures. Not sure what will happen to the D&D group either.
On tumblr, there’s an emergent piece of advice across multiple posts: do it scared, do it alone. You can’t wait for other people to want to do cool things with you or to hold your hand when you’re intimidated. You’ve got to do it scared. You’ve got to do it alone.
AKA another manifestation of my personal motto: save yourself.
I guess I should be grateful for the time we had, which encouraged me to consider the joys of small adventures and actually going out and doing things. Now I have to make the choice to keep doing that on my own.
I am not, for reference, currently feeling very grateful. Just to be clear.
Lewisia: 3 new pieces written
Day job: 43.25 hours, and several things went off the rails
Crafting: patched my work pants yet again, picked up some yarn and a new hook for a crochet project
Gardening: harvested the second crops of mushrooms, weeding in the castle garden
Reading: In an Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire (god, even knowing how it has to end because it’s a prequel, this was heartrending)
Listening: Yasmin by Malaika Mfalme (another transmasc artist, really lovely stuff, charmed by the references to old songs in “Younger”)
Playing: “Chill Out,” a journaling game about a road trip, I only got through the first two hours of the eight hours comprising a game, so I’ll keep playing it for the next little while
Aftermarket Parts: finished listening to the last module of the voice class, still need to go through the actual activities
Other: beach trip
