scrubjayspeaks

🎳This Month on the Lanes⚡

Dog of the Month
South-of-the-Border Collie: chorizo dog topped with salsa, chopped onion, and crumbled cotija cheese

New Snack for Early Autumn
Sweet Nachos: cinnamon sugar chips, smothered in spiced apples, topped with whipped cream and your choice of sprinkles and add-ons

Labor Day Closure
The lanes will be closed Monday in observance of Labor Day and in an attempt to appease the creatures who reset the pins.

Our usual offerings of fresh cream, bread and cakes, and locally brewed ale are still being accepted. However, episodes continue of pins going missing (sometimes midroll), extra pins being added to sabotage certain players, and pins being arranged into threatening and/or occult sigils. We hope that an extra day of rest will improve the well-being of the creatures and our working relationship with them.

🍸Cocktails and More🍺

Underhill Brewery Spotlight: home of fae-touched beverages and changeling brewers!

For Fear of Little Men: infused with pine needles, moss, and the mist collected during the passing of the Wild Hunt, we bring the forest to you when you dare not go a-hunting yourself

Flying Elixir: steeped with fairy ring mushrooms, you’ll be shifting planes of existence before you feel the buzz

House Shrine: notes of fresh cream, brown bread, and apple, it’s everything that belongs on an offering plate to the Fair Folk, but without (most of) the risk of angering them by taking it for yourself

Bar Snacks: a surprise this month! Definitely safe to eat! Certainly won’t keep you here for an indefinite amount of time!

🍞Now Baking🍰

New Bakes
Crystal Bread (the Not Messing Around version): Yes, it's full of airy pockets, and those pockets are lined with small crystal growths. Yes, the crust is crisp and crackling, and it needs to be split on a circular saw like a geode. When we say crystal, we mean it.

Sandwich: Gardener's Regret (assorted roasted vegetables found to be in excess of local gardeners' needs and desires, guaranteed to be no more than 30% renegade zucchini by volume)

Experimental Cookie of the Month
August Theme: Fire

Firebird Nests: assorted warming spices, phoenix tears, crème brulée center, a cookie that tastes like flame and heals as it heats

One vote token provided with each cookie purchased. Vote for or against this variety in the boxes by the register. Winning varieties will get added to our roster for a year.

🍔 Diner Specials 🎵

Sandwich of the Month: The Sunstroke (patty of your choice topped with marinated artichoke, sundried tomato spread, hot lemon relish)

Shake Flavor: Coconut Dream (extra whipped and fluffy, swirled with tropical flavors and the just-out-of-reach feeling of waking from a strange dream)

At the Soda Fountain: Skydiver (bright blue, gives the sensation of freefall, not recommended for those with a fear of heights or delicate stomachs)

New on the jukebox: "Velveteen (Wear Me Out)" by Bears For Mama

☕This Month's High Tea🐔

Summer Reading Special
Bring your new favorite book for a literary tea time!

Sandwich Cubes--double-stacked tea sandwiches with assorted fillings, perfect for picking up one-handed while you're busy holding a book with the other hand

Baklava--using a mix of filo dough and edible book pages, sweetened with honey collected from the Accidental Libraries, each serving will cause you to remember one line from a book you have never read and which may not exist in this world

Tea of the Month
Iced Extravaganza! All our best cold tea flavors (like jasmine, honey peach, cave drip, and lunar light), with house-made mixed fruit ice cubes

📽Stories in the Dark🍿

Popcorn Topping of the Month
Diamond Dust: finely ground gemstones, sweet and salty varieties available, proceeds benefit the Buried Gardens Fund

New Slushy Flavor
Cheery (no, not cherry, we had our manager double check): bright yellow with a flavor that may or may not resemble pineapple, enhanced with mild mood stabilizers, available for a limited and completely coincidental time

Promotional Item
Extra-large embroidered handkerchiefs to celebrate the release of The Potion-Maker's Kit, guaranteed to be the tear-jerker of the year.
(Please buy one--the staff is tired of cleaning up so many tissues after every showing)

🍨June Flavors of the Month🍦

Ice Cream and Sorbet:

Full Spectrum--rainbow sherbet with transforming flavors and colors (will occasionally disappear as it enters non-visible section of the light spectrum, but still delicious)

Wasp Barbecue--tangy, savory, sweet, spicy, all the best flavors of a cookout and the vague sense of ill-ease provided by stinging insects

Ice Age Pops--crystal-clear ice pops in assorted flavors with miniature megafauna and mummies trapped inside for a paleontological adventure in every lick

Toppings:

Beach Sand--adds glitter and crunch to any scoop, a rare sugar crab can be redeemed for a special prize (yes, you can keep the crab afterward)

☕This Month's High Tea🐔

Picnic in a Teacup
Mystery Watermelon--the mystery is what will grow in you when you swallow a seed
Fried chicken*
Thimble Pies--assorted berries, one per micro pie

Tea of the Month
Grass Clippings, a bright and herbaceous blend that tastes like sunshine and botanical distress signals

*Don't worry: the Tea House, like all chicken-based creatures, has a certain cannibalistic streak and won't be troubled by this.

🍔 Diner Specials 🎵

Sandwich of the Month: Marigold Burger (Georgian-inspired with adjika paste and marigold petals, spicy and sunny, optional walnuts)

Pie: Rhubarb (with or without poisonous leaves included)

At the Soda Fountain: Flora's Clock (progressive blooms of flowers along head and shoulders for approximately 24 hours, rosewater and melon flavor notes)

New on the jukebox: "(Never Going) East Again" by Nobody Guerrero

🎳This Month on the Lanes⚡

Dog of the Month
Puppy Pile: mini hot dogs on a bed of fries, topped with chili and crispy fried onions

New Frozen Novelty
Siren Tears: flash-frozen sorbet that releases musical notes when each piece melts

For Our Telekinetic Bowlers
Now Available: colored powders to be incorporated into your psychic ball substitutes! Make your powers visible! Stop your friends and rivals from complaining that you are cheating!
Three colors available and more on the way!🔴🟡🔵 Lane 6 only!