Uhhhh...I accidentally overdosed on news this morning. I didn't even watch that much--I tend to binge on Fridays because I don't keep up as much during my work week. This is not a great habit in the best of times, I'm aware, and I intermittently try to cut back on it. I like to listen to people talking, which I find soothing in certain contexts, but I want it to be something where I don't care if I miss sections by paying attention to something else. That's why news, whether video or podcasts, serves well as filler noise.
But never mind all that. I hit a wall very early, in any case. As the day has worn on--and I had to run an errand in town which was both unavoidable and time-sensitive--I've reached that shaky, faintly disoriented level of anxiety.
I'm feeling particularly fragile after hearing so much ableist bullshit in the last couple days. There's too much news of health care authorities of various stripes planning, if not yet implementing, policies founded on the basic idea of "people who are already vulnerable are a waste of resources and shouldn't be saved." It would be bad enough if it was strictly a matter of total resource failure and having to pick your battles. I mean, cool, shitty situation meets shitty attitudes, great.
But things like the sudden run on hydroxychloroquine mean people who are chronically ill are potentially going to get worse. Have flares, complications, etc. The overtaxed health care system is going to deny them support for those problems unless and until they become crises. Then they'll end up in the ER, exposed to a bunch of covid carriers when already weakened. And when they get covid, they'll be deemed too unlikely to survive to be worth the resources for treatment.
Hello, and welcome to Joyce's Surprisingly Reasonable Catastrophizing Hour! Anxiety dreams up the nightmare scenarios, life makes them real!
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