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Today's Keyboard Smash
Jul. 6th, 2020 04:54 pmI have various coworkers who are all talking about and/or seriously planning to get different jobs or possibly move away. My first instinct is mostly, "no, don't go!" but that's entirely because I cope poorly with change. Anyone whom I have even the slightest tolerance for becomes a fixture for me, despite my having no real emotional investment in them. The prospect of them leaving and being replaced is upsetting.
Moreso, though, I'm struck by an odd sort of insecurity and uncertainty. Do they know something I don't? It's apparently too expensive to live here, and the pay isn't good enough. I...????
I miss out on some of this because I already own my home rather than renting. I suppose I could try to compare mortgage payments? As for expenses like food, well, yes, I expected it to be cheaper up here than where I used to live, on the grounds that this place is less impressive and less convenient than that. But I don't know if it's necessarily worse.
As for wages, it took me about eight months at the new job to hit the pay level I had been at my old one after three years. So I guess I felt like things were better at this job? I mean, they are. They are better. But maybe I am settling for too little?
So many of them want to get a job at a nearby state-run facility. It pays very well, with all the security that comes with landing a government job. Which is all well and good. I looked at the place too. Except the more I find out about it, the more convinced I become that I would be utterly miserable if I had to work there. I'm not miserable at my job now. I like that.
I feel like a simpleton. I feel naive. I must just not know how bad off I am. I must be ignorant of the better opportunities out there, for certain specific versions of "better." That's how I feel, listening to them. I must be stupid to think, hm, I could probably stand to do this job for a long time. This is pretty nice.
I'm waiting for someone to say, oh, by the way, the cost of everything is ten times what you thought it was and you can't possibly afford to keep living here. I'm waiting for someone to say, oh, by the way, you do not really have the life you think you do. (I've been there before, after all.) All these rats abandoning a ship must mean it's sinking, right?
Because otherwise, I think, what's so bad about this? Is this really such an awful way to live*? Did I just miss the memo?
*I mean, yes, we can have a conversation about just how awful our current work/economic model is, but that's not really the point of this. Given the current iteration of reality under which I exist, is this so bad?
Moreso, though, I'm struck by an odd sort of insecurity and uncertainty. Do they know something I don't? It's apparently too expensive to live here, and the pay isn't good enough. I...????
I miss out on some of this because I already own my home rather than renting. I suppose I could try to compare mortgage payments? As for expenses like food, well, yes, I expected it to be cheaper up here than where I used to live, on the grounds that this place is less impressive and less convenient than that. But I don't know if it's necessarily worse.
As for wages, it took me about eight months at the new job to hit the pay level I had been at my old one after three years. So I guess I felt like things were better at this job? I mean, they are. They are better. But maybe I am settling for too little?
So many of them want to get a job at a nearby state-run facility. It pays very well, with all the security that comes with landing a government job. Which is all well and good. I looked at the place too. Except the more I find out about it, the more convinced I become that I would be utterly miserable if I had to work there. I'm not miserable at my job now. I like that.
I feel like a simpleton. I feel naive. I must just not know how bad off I am. I must be ignorant of the better opportunities out there, for certain specific versions of "better." That's how I feel, listening to them. I must be stupid to think, hm, I could probably stand to do this job for a long time. This is pretty nice.
I'm waiting for someone to say, oh, by the way, the cost of everything is ten times what you thought it was and you can't possibly afford to keep living here. I'm waiting for someone to say, oh, by the way, you do not really have the life you think you do. (I've been there before, after all.) All these rats abandoning a ship must mean it's sinking, right?
Because otherwise, I think, what's so bad about this? Is this really such an awful way to live*? Did I just miss the memo?
*I mean, yes, we can have a conversation about just how awful our current work/economic model is, but that's not really the point of this. Given the current iteration of reality under which I exist, is this so bad?
