Today's Keyboard Smash
Aug. 11th, 2020 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scrubjayspeaksOh, fuck me sideways. What a garbage day. Screwed up a bunch at work, because I'm running a really fussy job that everyone who touches it is glad to be rid of. It's fine, no one but me really cares, but shit sucked. Also got dogpiled by a bunch of engineers and shit who were wanting to screw around with said fussy job, so suddenly everyone and their brother were at my work station. And the machine had a problem, so anyone not including in that hoedown came by separately to mess with it.
Found out a coworker is no longer, for reasons that will no doubt remain a mystery because this place is really serious about privacy. Found this out mainly because my team lead wants me to apply to fill that position when it gets formally opened. I don't actually want to do that, and it's one position that they've made no effort to get me trained on up until now. (The fact that I can do all the paperwork for that position despite not really being trained might, MIGHT, be one of the reasons why they want me for it. But never mind that.)
And of course, my dumb brain is giving me two conflicting messages about this. One, they must want me moving over to that position (which mainly makes the raw material used for producing parts) because I'm secretly a bad operator and they want to hive me off elsewhere. Which is how said coworker ended up in the position, in fact. Two, in a wildly different direction, my brain says, oh, they want you for something, that's flattering, DO IT IMMEDIATELY.
I really didn't need to be trying to navigate that particular emotional minefield while already overwhelmed by the everything.
Then I get home to find out mum has done research on trees, since I want to buy a big one to establish a shade area. Only she's gotten her heart set on this one, which of course is more expensive than what I had been looking into. And she's called a nursery about it. And they're kind of trying to hard sell her on it, ish. And the third google hit on it is about how it's become very invasive in Texas, which maybe doesn't matter if we get a male and/or one of this particular variety that's not fertile. But I feel like the bad guy for saying, hey, uh, this particular $350 tree might not be the one for us, so slow your roll.
Mostly I just have such decision fatigue and general overwhelm that I'm on the verge of tears about dinner not being what I had in mind. Which is just stupid of me, and I'm getting myself all worked up over nothing. But it's still 96 degrees out and therefore probably too hot to go stand in the pumpkin patch until I feel like a real person again instead of just a ball of raw nerves. Not that I really have time to spare for that this evening, because I spent an hour looking at information about trees of dubious nature.
Everything is too much.
Found out a coworker is no longer, for reasons that will no doubt remain a mystery because this place is really serious about privacy. Found this out mainly because my team lead wants me to apply to fill that position when it gets formally opened. I don't actually want to do that, and it's one position that they've made no effort to get me trained on up until now. (The fact that I can do all the paperwork for that position despite not really being trained might, MIGHT, be one of the reasons why they want me for it. But never mind that.)
And of course, my dumb brain is giving me two conflicting messages about this. One, they must want me moving over to that position (which mainly makes the raw material used for producing parts) because I'm secretly a bad operator and they want to hive me off elsewhere. Which is how said coworker ended up in the position, in fact. Two, in a wildly different direction, my brain says, oh, they want you for something, that's flattering, DO IT IMMEDIATELY.
I really didn't need to be trying to navigate that particular emotional minefield while already overwhelmed by the everything.
Then I get home to find out mum has done research on trees, since I want to buy a big one to establish a shade area. Only she's gotten her heart set on this one, which of course is more expensive than what I had been looking into. And she's called a nursery about it. And they're kind of trying to hard sell her on it, ish. And the third google hit on it is about how it's become very invasive in Texas, which maybe doesn't matter if we get a male and/or one of this particular variety that's not fertile. But I feel like the bad guy for saying, hey, uh, this particular $350 tree might not be the one for us, so slow your roll.
Mostly I just have such decision fatigue and general overwhelm that I'm on the verge of tears about dinner not being what I had in mind. Which is just stupid of me, and I'm getting myself all worked up over nothing. But it's still 96 degrees out and therefore probably too hot to go stand in the pumpkin patch until I feel like a real person again instead of just a ball of raw nerves. Not that I really have time to spare for that this evening, because I spent an hour looking at information about trees of dubious nature.
Everything is too much.
