![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Done This Week
Apr. 2nd, 2023 01:29 pmSomeone at work, who works in the semi-adjacent department I support, wrote me a thank-you card and gave me a gift certificate to the restaurant across the parking lot that people like to go to on their lunch breaks. And obviously, because I have imposter syndrome like whoa, I feel absurd for it. I'm just doing my job. Like, the things I do are literally why the company has me. But I am electing to ignore that sensation as much as possible. It's nice to be appreciated.
I am truly hoping that April will be a better month than March was. All the rain has been great. But the weather has kept me in basically a month-long flare, and I am tired of hurting all the time. I've been limping again, because my knees and hips are so locked up. Thought about using my cane when I went out Friday night, but didn't want to deal with explaining it to the people I would be with.
It's odd to think that none of the people I spend time with now, locally, knew me before I was medicated. They never saw me barely able to walk even with assistive devices. They never dealt with me going mute from sensory overload on bad pain days. They've never known me as a person who could only work three days a week and needed all the rest of their time to recover well enough to carry out basic life functions.
Sometimes I am glad they don't know all those vulnerabilities. But then, I have a flare, and I remember that it can be nice to not have to explain. To have people already know: these are my limitations. To have already gotten past the shame of revealing the ways in which I am broken.
Lewisia: 3 new pieces, plus another bonus piece written
Day job: 43.5 hours
Gardening: weeding
Watching: got surprise!invited to see the D&D movie with a friend, a good time was had, the tiny shapeshifting ecoterrorist orphan should have gotten more attention and/or should have made out with the barbarian lady
Listening: No Woman Is The Sea by Josaleigh Pollett (yes, so good, obsessed with "Body," so happy I stumbled on this via another artist's tweet about Pollett, who I mistook for the bassist from another band, as one does), PORTALS by Melanie Martinez (god, I love this weird shit she does)
I am truly hoping that April will be a better month than March was. All the rain has been great. But the weather has kept me in basically a month-long flare, and I am tired of hurting all the time. I've been limping again, because my knees and hips are so locked up. Thought about using my cane when I went out Friday night, but didn't want to deal with explaining it to the people I would be with.
It's odd to think that none of the people I spend time with now, locally, knew me before I was medicated. They never saw me barely able to walk even with assistive devices. They never dealt with me going mute from sensory overload on bad pain days. They've never known me as a person who could only work three days a week and needed all the rest of their time to recover well enough to carry out basic life functions.
Sometimes I am glad they don't know all those vulnerabilities. But then, I have a flare, and I remember that it can be nice to not have to explain. To have people already know: these are my limitations. To have already gotten past the shame of revealing the ways in which I am broken.
Lewisia: 3 new pieces, plus another bonus piece written
Day job: 43.5 hours
Gardening: weeding
Watching: got surprise!invited to see the D&D movie with a friend, a good time was had, the tiny shapeshifting ecoterrorist orphan should have gotten more attention and/or should have made out with the barbarian lady
Listening: No Woman Is The Sea by Josaleigh Pollett (yes, so good, obsessed with "Body," so happy I stumbled on this via another artist's tweet about Pollett, who I mistook for the bassist from another band, as one does), PORTALS by Melanie Martinez (god, I love this weird shit she does)
