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Ohhhh, I just ate shit real bad.
I got out of bed, after lying down to read for a while, and attempted to walk out to fix lunch. That was the plan. What actually happened was that I took one step, somehow hooked my right big toe on my left pant leg, thus very effectively hobbling myself, and took a header straight into the wall.
Actually, I apparently hit the little metal triangle shelving, which is where I keep all sorts of Pokémon figurines and Gundam models and such. Which was how I ended up with the decapitated head of Sandrock in my hair and My Little Ponies all over the floor.
But I wasn't going to figure that out for another ten minutes. I thought I went directly into the wall. So my main thought, as my tower fan helpfully collapsed over my prone form, was "oh fuck, not the newly painted walls!" I really feared I had punched a hole in the drywall with my skull. It certainly felt like it.
In the background, today's episode of the Says Who? podcast town watch continued to go through its opening bit. An oddly cheerful soundtrack for head trauma!
Whilst still sprawled on the floor, I righted the fan. I debated getting involved with the figurines but realized that was not the right set of priorities. I achieved a sitting position and immediately decided that would be as far as I went just then. Because I was alone in the house!
My second thought--after my walls--was of when copperbadge had his fall/concussion. I did not want to find out that these were my last moments of lucidity before the head trauma kicked in and that I squandered them on sitting alone on the floor. So I scooched myself out another five feet into the living room, where I could reach my phone.
Fortunately, mum was just out feeding the horses. So she could come back within a couple minutes of my calling to say, yeah, I need supervision. While using the phone, I discovered I lost feeling in a couple of fingers of my right hand. I probably landed on my wrist or something and stung them; they're recovering as I sit here. She helped me gather up the figurines, track down the gundam head (again, lodged in my hair), and drag myself up onto the bed to assess.
Probably did something unfortunate to one or both legs. I landed on my right, but it's the left hip and knee that hurt. Plus the right hand. And, oh yeah, my HEAD. Also, kinda nauseated. So I guess that solved the problem of needing to fix myself lunch.
I am now set up on the living room couch with an ice pack. I'm forbidden to move until mum gets back in the house. Which is probably for the best. I wouldn't trust me neither.
Did I forget to mention that this is actually the second fall this week? Oh, yeah, I fell off a step ladder at work on Thursday. First day back after vacation, I stayed late, and for my troubles, I fell backwards off a ladder. Then I had a coworker, who tried to grab for me as I fell, land sort of on top of me instead. Much like my tower fan. I'm not sure which one comes out looking less helpful in this: the human or the small appliance.
I am going to be so sore tomorrow.
I got out of bed, after lying down to read for a while, and attempted to walk out to fix lunch. That was the plan. What actually happened was that I took one step, somehow hooked my right big toe on my left pant leg, thus very effectively hobbling myself, and took a header straight into the wall.
Actually, I apparently hit the little metal triangle shelving, which is where I keep all sorts of Pokémon figurines and Gundam models and such. Which was how I ended up with the decapitated head of Sandrock in my hair and My Little Ponies all over the floor.
But I wasn't going to figure that out for another ten minutes. I thought I went directly into the wall. So my main thought, as my tower fan helpfully collapsed over my prone form, was "oh fuck, not the newly painted walls!" I really feared I had punched a hole in the drywall with my skull. It certainly felt like it.
In the background, today's episode of the Says Who? podcast town watch continued to go through its opening bit. An oddly cheerful soundtrack for head trauma!
Whilst still sprawled on the floor, I righted the fan. I debated getting involved with the figurines but realized that was not the right set of priorities. I achieved a sitting position and immediately decided that would be as far as I went just then. Because I was alone in the house!
My second thought--after my walls--was of when copperbadge had his fall/concussion. I did not want to find out that these were my last moments of lucidity before the head trauma kicked in and that I squandered them on sitting alone on the floor. So I scooched myself out another five feet into the living room, where I could reach my phone.
Fortunately, mum was just out feeding the horses. So she could come back within a couple minutes of my calling to say, yeah, I need supervision. While using the phone, I discovered I lost feeling in a couple of fingers of my right hand. I probably landed on my wrist or something and stung them; they're recovering as I sit here. She helped me gather up the figurines, track down the gundam head (again, lodged in my hair), and drag myself up onto the bed to assess.
Probably did something unfortunate to one or both legs. I landed on my right, but it's the left hip and knee that hurt. Plus the right hand. And, oh yeah, my HEAD. Also, kinda nauseated. So I guess that solved the problem of needing to fix myself lunch.
I am now set up on the living room couch with an ice pack. I'm forbidden to move until mum gets back in the house. Which is probably for the best. I wouldn't trust me neither.
Did I forget to mention that this is actually the second fall this week? Oh, yeah, I fell off a step ladder at work on Thursday. First day back after vacation, I stayed late, and for my troubles, I fell backwards off a ladder. Then I had a coworker, who tried to grab for me as I fell, land sort of on top of me instead. Much like my tower fan. I'm not sure which one comes out looking less helpful in this: the human or the small appliance.
I am going to be so sore tomorrow.
